Hospitalization

It has been awhile since my last blog post. I can only blame a small amount of why on circumstance. I was hospitalized from Oct 1st off and on til Oct. 14th. I was there because of my depression. My medication quit working on me. Surprise. Surprise. It sucks, but it happens occasionally. My stay was really hard. I was very homesick the whole time. Being home in my bed was the only thing I wanted, but I knew it would not improve anything. The doctor changed my medications and thankfully I feel much better.

I read this book while I was in called “You Are A Badass” by Jen Sincero. I totally recommend it to anyone struggling with depression or anything relating to not knowing what to do with their life or just not being happy with it. It was such a good read. It finally helped me realize that I have the tools to better my life.

I have always thought that Depression was going to rule my life, however with the right help and medication I am positive that I can changed who I am and make this life better for myself. Again check the damn book out. It’s some good stuff.

Hi blog it’s been a little.

So, Depression is kicking my butt right now. I’m always tired, which is getting really annoying. 90% of our stuff is unpacked. We just need to fix up the spare room and put a bed in it and we’ll be good to go.

On the plus, I got hired by the local hospital and I start Monday. I’m going to be a registration clerk. It’s my first “big girl” job, like I actually get benefits and what not. I am super nervous. My anxiety feels like it’s going to kick my butt along with all the heartburn caused by the anxiety.

Another side note, I started working out this week and it’s been difficult, but I pushed through for a few days. I’m done for this week. So, we’ll see if I actually stick to it next week.

Moving!

It has been awhile since I have made a post. My boyfriend got back from OCS about a week ago and we have moved in to our apartment! I am beyond stressed out. My anxiety has been giving me heartburn. I still have so much left to unpack and I feel bad that I have more stuff than my boyfriend. Oops.

Having Major Depression with anxiety qualifies me to have a Service dog. My boyfriend and I have been contemplating getting a puppy and training it. Right now with apartment fees and just moving in, we don’t have enough money to have one. It will be very hard work, but it will be totally worth it to have a loving dog that can help me with certain things I can’t control. I have been looking into a lot of different options on things. It is probably going to be pretty expensive. It seems worth it though.

 

Update on Life

This month has been pretty crazy. I have been trying to pack because my boyfriend and I are moving into our apartment July 5th. He has also been away for the past 3 weeks in Quantico, Virginia. He’s my rock when it comes to depression, so needless to say it has been rough. I lived without him before I met him. I can do it. I just really prefer not to. Going to the grocery store for instance, it makes me anxious and there’s too many people there. If I’m with him, I’m not as anxious.  Also, my retail job is becoming way too much. I’m not sure if I just am depressed and that’s why I don’t want to work or I just hate it.

Opener

Let’s start off by saying, my name is Kobie. I’m a 22 year old from Oklahoma. I was diagnosed with depression at the age of 12. This has been a fun 10 years. I am writing this to give whatever helpful anything I can to whoever wants to follow along.

I don’t want this to be some poor pitiful me blog, where I talk about how sad I am all the time. I may talk about other things and I want to keep this as light as this blog can be for a “Girl with depression” blog. I will probably spend a lot of time talking about my plants and my boyfriend, so I hope y’all like it.

There’s no magical cure for depression. Yea, trust me, I know. Managing is the next best thing. I would like to think that I do that pretty well. I cannot judge my progress based on others. You might be wondering “How long did it take to manage”. The reason I made the last comment is because it did take me 10 years. For you it might take a few months or never fully manage. Which I by all means don’t think I fully manage.

It’s cool though, because that’s why I started this blog. I’m here for you. Always feel free to talk to me. My email is posted.